Tired. Feeling vulnerable, uncomfortable, challenged.
Choosing a creative task that would challenge me.
It was so easy to stick with familiar and easy. But I’ve realized the “pile of stuff” is all part of the plan to take me back to my childhood love of making things. A bit of a side step from sharing my journey as an artist, but actually it’s not… stick with me here…
Memories of knitting and crocheting and making baskets from cane – plaiting and weaving bits and pieces, tactile…
So the fact that I thoughtlessly grabbed all this stuff to create, was ‘intentional intuition” I’m calling it – tuning in to my inner child again – going back to the joy of making… and the messages that these “things” have in this moment.
There are so many layers to this creation. 
Memories of chocolate in a lunchbox = love, yellow and red, sunshine, moonlight.
Not every paperclip is the same – why did I not know that?
Painting is: therapeutic and slows down the nervous system.
Glow in the dark paint is awesome – probably not so much for the environment though.
We should all tap in to our creativity – we are creative beings, we all have it.
Red = Papa = woman = blood = creativity = chocolate = sacred.
Hue seeds = beauty and unfolding of nature, my whānau unit is an altar.
Realising my resistance that Steven Pressfield writes about so “directly” in The War of Art. You must read it – it’s a gem of a book for artists. For everyone actually. It will set you straight.
Today we supported Reremoana at NZ Fashion Week – she showcased her beautiful collection at Miromoda – so elegant, emerging, fresh, beautifully made layered garments, we are so proud.
Having watched her over these last few months on her journey has reminded me of my art, my starting point as an artist. Doing what I love, how scary, vulnerable and yet so rewarding it can be. But I realised today that that fear still resides in there somewhere side by side with the triumphs and the successes and even 20+ years down the track I still feel vulnerable, exposed, frustrated.
But you learn through time that perfection can lead to some pretty unsightly states so don’t even aim there, go for a slightly less than perfect, or just do – you will still hit your mark.
The more experience you have the more confident you become.
So go and experience the world.
Relationships are everything, keep them, nurture them by treating people with love and respect – always.
We are all on a journey, we have all experienced something at some time in our lives that has shaped us.
Many of us struggle to navigate life on a daily basis, it is not just you in this world, other people struggle too – have compassion.
You learn that you have to just get it out there anyway, because your heart wants you to. It matters what other people think, but it actually doesn’t.
Passion before profit always, in that order.
And today I learnt again, energy is contagious – a stressed energy will spread easily – Auckland is so not for me.
So as I place things, layer upon layer I realize that each (earth) represents a layer that I am removing and this pile of things is a metaphor for the stuff that I’m carrying that is now ready to let go. There is no need to create anything – it’s all there – already.
Sometimes we feel like we have to hold it all together all the time. Well I’m falling apart and accepting that this is ok, that I can’t be the on time, on to it person all the time and I have the most expectation of myself than anyone else. Just let it go and do!
And letting go of the need to hold it all together is letting go of the resistance.
